Chillin' out

I don't know what it is about winter that makes me feel so light and free. Is it the crunching of snow underfoot as I flee from an incoming snowball? The tingling from a delicate snowflake settling on my nose? A mild delirium caused by a drop in my core body temperature? Well, whatever it is, winter here in Cooltown has given me the same compulsion to forge snowmen by day and curl up by the fireplace with hot chocolate and a marshmallow by night as it did back in my old home. Still, something's a little different this time, something I can't quite put my finger on. Perhaps it's all the self-loathing the snowmen here express when they're not quite 'in proportion' (I really should build them with a concept of 'inner-beauty') as opposed to nothing at all.
Anyway, since moving here I've taken to erecting (teehee) snowmen all around town, each more horribly disfigured than the last, bringing down the mood of Cooltown as no animal can leave the house now without being lectured about the injustices in life. Well, we didn't hear anything from this guy but I think that may be just because his tiny little voice can't carry up to our ears. I'm sure that if we set up a microphone in front of him, we'd hear things more depressing than anything we've ever heard....ever. And just when I thought it was impossible to create a snowman who was actually even slightly happy with himself, that's when I met him - the most beautiful, perfectly proportioned snowman I'd ever laid eyes on. I suddenly realised why all the other snowmen were so down; it was because they looked nothing like this. And frankly, I was starting to feel the sting of jealousy too. I'd created a monster; a devilishly handsome one at that. I was its god, and those with the power to create life also have the power to take it away - in fact, just about anything can take away life, even things that aren't alive, like a big rock. I owe it to all these ugly snowmen I created to destroy the being that's causing them such misery so that they may live peacefully once again. But then something happened that made me feel for the handsome snowman: he offered me a snowman TV as a tribute. I'd never been given a present by a creation of mine before, so I decided to not kill the handsome snowman but instead wipe the ugly ones off the handsome face of Cooltown. That's what gods are supposed to do anyway, right? Or is that natural selection? I can't remember...
Also, as a bit of revenge for always waking up in the wee hours of the morn and digging up all the fossils, I thought I'd leave Angus a bit of a surprise on his doorstep.


Have a nice trip Angus!